School janitor makes citizen's arrest after seeing man touch self

Hoang Hong Nguyen is accused of publicly masturbating at a high school while watching a girls cross country team stretch and do calisthenics. The janitor sat on him until police arrived. (Orange County Register)

Inmate ends up with broken jaw after dissing Michael Jackson

Jeffrey Salery, 50, is expected to be charged with aggravated assault and battery with great bodily injury against a 21-year-old fellow inmate. Salery told correctional officers that the prisoner “disrespected Michael Jackson,” although what specifically was said isn't known. (Modesto Bee)

Wisconsin agency's new logo looks like the anarchy symbol

The state agency charged with running elections paid $4,900 for the new logo, which has an A inside a circle. A record shop owner says that "it's almost like the joke is on them." A cafe owner who calls himself Warlock says: "Irony is an overused word, but that's somewhat ironic in this case." (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Teens think man having consensual sex is harming woman

Four teens were arraigned Wednesday on charges related to the beating of a man they thought was harming a woman who was heard screaming in her bedroom June 6. The couple was just having sex. (Republican-American)

Three wounded in $10 marijuana deal gone bad

A passenger in a car fired at them after asking: "You still going on about that $10?" Apparently they were. (Oregonian)

Man to girls: Tarot cards indicate you should have sex with me

Three girls have testified that Hector Ayala, 59, tricked them into having sex by using Tarot cards, and telling the girls a fling with him would ward off misfortune and help make wishes come true. (Like his!) (Philadelphia Daily News)

Cop quits after admitting he slashed homeless man's bike tires

The black police officer cut the tires after he encountered a barrage of racial slurs while driving the white homeless man to jail. The police chief says: "You just can't retaliate against a civilian and commit a crime in our Police Department." (St. Petersburg Times)

Woman who had baby with boy, 13, is pregnant again (by him)

A 20-year-old woman charged with the sexual assault of a 13-year-old boy who fathered her child is pregnant again, by the same boy. His mother, who knew about the relationship, could be charged with failure to protect. (Appleton, Wis. Post-Crescent)
> Mom has sex with teen boy she met at "Furry" gathering

Woman arrested after stabbing men during three-way sexcapade

Drugs and alcohol played a role in the incident in which two men ended up going to the hospital together to have their stab wounds taken care of. Police didn't disclose why the lovefest turned violent. Serena Brooks, at left, was arrested. (Denver Post | Boulder Daily Camera)

Trailer park thief stashed two pairs of pliers in her bra

She revealed that to police after she and a female accomplice were arrested. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

She's not only a prostitute, but she sets fires, too

Not much of a story, but there's a mug shot that goes with it. (Cincinnati Enquirer)

State Fair butter cow will share a cooler with Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson and a Jersey cow -- both sculpted from butter -- will be on display Aug. 13-23 in the Iowa State Fair Agriculture Building. MJ and farming? Doesn't seem right. (Des Moines Register)

Palin: "When I'm out running, I'm totally incognito"

That's "because I'm not wearing the trough full of makeup," says Sarah Palin. "I can go running through a mob of tourists and they don't recognize me." Could she beat the president in a race? "I betcha I'd have more endurance." (Runner's World)

Pig headed to sausage factory flees wreck, takes a swim

A woman noticed the water in her pool lapping over the side, and moved for a better view from her back window. She then saw the hog in water up to its snout. (Northwest Arkansas News)

Deadbeat diner busted three times in one week

Michael Bryant, 36, was booked with defrauding an innkeeper after he ate at restaurants and then laughed at business owners when they asked him to pay his bill. (New Orleans Times-Picayune)

I'll buy the story about the dog chewing a teen's passport, but...

I won't fall for this woman's claim that her dog ate her personal checks, which caused her to take money from her ex-hubby's account. (Everett, Wash. Herald)

Man charged with drenching cig-smoking wife with garden hose

Her clothes were soaked with water, but the hubby insists he had been watering the grass and didn't intend to spray her; the water was simply "over spray," he claims. (TCPalm.com)

Cross-dressing clown robs liquor store at gunpoint

The man was wearing white and red makeup, a red and purple wig, a black and white hat and a denim dress. He told his robbery victims he needed money to feed his children. (Boulder Daily Camera)

School officials embarrassed by GQ "Bruno" photo shoot

Sacha Baron Cohen, in his new guise as gay Austrian fashionista "Bruno," appears in the latest GQ magazine, photographed with LA's Birmingham High School football team. School officials aren't amused. (Los Angeles Times)

Let's get a video of this mayhem up on YouTube -- pronto!

A sheriff's deputy who broke up a fund-raiser looked “out of control” as he doused guests with pepper spray, pulled out a stun gun, and dropped a 60-year-old woman to the floor, witnesses said. "He had a raged look in his eyes and his head was bobbing from side to side," says one witness. (San Diego Union-Tribune)

Woman hit by train after lying on tracks "to clear her mind"

The 22-year-old woman was lucky she only suffered a broken leg. The train was going about 10 mph when it hit her. (Birmingham, Ala.News)

Next time, try something more threatening than a butter knife

A man showed a butter knife and asked for money from a motel clerk. She refused his request and he walked away, only to be arrested. (Rapid City Journal)

Couple veers off road, crashes into tree while arguing

A Des Moines man was arrested after he lost his temper with his wife while they were traveling on the Interstate, wrenched the wheel from her and sent the car careering off the road. (Des Moines Register)

Boo f-ing hoo!: Ruth Madoff has to get by on $125,000 a year

In the car department, she has to give up her Mercedes-Benz E class and CLK, but a brand new Mercedes SmartCar only costs about $14,000. Of course, she can just continue to take the subway. (Wall Street Journal)

Woman gets cursed at on the street because of her storefront art

Carol McIlmurray's provocative psychedelic whirlwind of bright colors has become the talk of Nyack, NY. She got into a fight over it at a local Starbucks and cops had to be called. One resident says: "It's a shame that it's tainted the aesthetics of this beautiful town." (Journal News)

Student can't go to Peru after dog chews a bit of his passport

Twenty minutes before Jon Meier was set to depart for a trip with his Spanish class to Peru, his mother delivered some bad news: the dog had eaten his passport. "The only thing you could not see was a few numbers. Other than that it was pretty much intact." The student got as far as Miami, but wasn't allowed on the plane to Peru. (Eau Claire Leader Telegram)

Be careful what you put into your bank deposit canister

Cameron B. Jefferson made the mistake of including pot and cocaine with his $200 deposit, sent to the teller via canister. (Tallahassee Democrat)

Yet again!: Man calls 9-1-1 over his McDonald's hamburger order

The 23-year-old customer complained that he only got a burger and fries after he gave the clerk $10. The man said he'd sue if police didn't respond to his call. He was arrested for misuse of 9-1-1. (The Oregonian

Mom isn't afraid to show it all to her daughters around the house

"I hope that they will always remember their mother as comfortable in her own skin -- and that someday that memory will help them be comfortable in theirs," writes Jennifer Mattern. Feel free to share your nude-around-the-house stories. (Boston Globe)

Man tries to run down wife with dump truck, but crashes it

Todd Thomas allegedly drove at his wife in his 1988 Chevrolet 3500 dump truck, missed, went off the road and crashed into some trees. He then ran. (Portland Press Herald)