OS&RR will return after the 4th (with fireworks mishaps, no doubt)

Stay safe so you don't appear on this page next week as a victim of some sort.

Army tweaks festival game so shooters don't target human figures

A U.S. Army simulation game on Milwaukee's Summerfest grounds was modified Wednesday so that participants now shoot at still targets, not virtual human beings. The game was briefly closed after Summerfest received complaints. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel || Peace Action Wisconsin group complained)

Man gets jail for blowing pot in stolen puppy's face

A 19-year-old man who stole a $1,500 Pomeranian puppy and who blew marijuana smoke into its face until it passed out was sentenced Wednesday to 60 days in jail. The judge scolded him: "The bottom rung of humanity abuses animals for their amusement. Anybody who abused animals for their own amusement has a problem." (Chicago Tribune | Mug shot and story)

Boy interested in law enforcement takes joy ride in cop car

The 13-year-old kid apparently wanted to do some patrolling on his own. His mother was arrested because she didn't see a problem with his antics. (SCNow.com)

Woman accused of kidnapping cat in attempt to get her dog back

Linda Urioste admitted to police that she had the cat and refused to give it back unless the owners gave her dog back. She was arrested and charged with theft and extortion. (WPBF.com)

Police say woman traded sex for a $100 gas card

"When people are selling their bodies for gas, that's pretty sad," says the prosecutor. (Cincinnati Enquirer || The Smoking Gun)

Man guilty of killing wife by spiking Gatorade with anti-freeze

Prosecutors say the guy murdered the woman for her $250,000 life-insurance policy. He used his laptop sampling ways "to kill" a human with ethylene glycol, using the name of Kevin Spacey’s 1995 film-noir villain Keyser Soze from "The Usual Suspects." (Boston Herald)

Storms wash salad dressing ingredients into basements

Storm water combined with sewage from a salad dressing plant overwhelmed the Columbus storm-sewer system and flooded at least 10 nearby homes. "It's creamy-ranch- dressing-looking crap," says resident Steven Maiken. (Columbus Dispatch)

Tragic: Band's bass player dies on the day their album debuts

Apparently it's not a publicity stunt for the band Tickle Me Pink. Why the 22-year-old musician died remains unknown. (Rocky Mountain News)

What the...?!: Woman cuts baby out of stabbing victim's womb

The alleged killer then tried to pass the baby off as her own. The 27-year-old victim, who was about 8 ½ months pregnant, was stabbed multiple times in the chest. (Seattle Times)

Man breaks into home, flees in shorts belonging to woman

They apparently weren't a good fit. Police said he had to wear them unzipped and unbuttoned. (TCPalm.com)

Man jailed for hitting mom with 3-pound pack of polish sausage

Gregory Allan Praeger, 46, was charged with battery after admitting he threw a sausage package at his mother and then beaned her with it. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)

Driver crashes into liquor store, then buys six-pack of Bud

Lynne Rice, 74, crashed her 1988 Cadillac into the front window of Joe's Food Mart, causing about $8,000 in damages. After plowing half-way through the store, Rice got out of the car, walked over to the cooler and pulled out a six pack of Budweiser. (Long Beach Press-Telegram)

Crackhead mugs woman, confesses to it 12 minutes later

Armando Pena parked his car just after the robbery, stepped out, and said, "I did it. I did it." Asked why he punched the woman and shoved her to the pavement, Pena replied, "drugs, drugs." Just say no, Armando! (Miami Herald)

Woman ignored after dying on floor of psychiatric ward

After an hour, another mental patient finally got the attention of the indifferent hospital workers. (New York Daily News | NBC video)

Let's see more law enforcement and less joke-forwarding

A sheriff in Texas has apologized in person to a local Muslim group for insensitive e-mails sent by members of his staff, including one that used the name Muhammad to make a joke about eating pork. Another e-mail discussed "the number of foreigners that own gas stations" in a discussion about possible terror attacks and fires. (Houston Chronicle)

Couple caught skinny-dipping in city's drinking water reservoir

"Not only did this foolish act threaten the cleanliness of Portland's drinking water, it was just plain dangerous," says Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff. "These two individuals could have easily found themselves in a precarious situation where extremely cold water temperatures and a difficult rescue situation could have made drowning a real possibility." (OregonLive.com)

Woman fights to get $30K after her home is mistakenly razed

Annie Wilson's home was mistakenly demolished by a contractor, destroying memorabilia and antiques with it. The home was assessed at about $10,000, but she believes $30,000 is fair compensation. "I'm so tired of fighting this," she says. "This is just a nightmare." (ClarionLedger.com)

Drivers spot man in nothing but a thong, wig and fake breasts

David Gebhardt, 42, was charged with disorderly conduct for his unusual highway stroll. (Hartford Courant)

Did sexcapader get off easy because she's a woman?

A prosecutor says Irene Gomez, 39, who had two children with an underage boy, was the beneficiary of gender bias, garnering a far less severe punishment than would a man in the same situation. If it were a man, "we'd be talking about a prison sentence here," and not mere probation. (Daily Camera)

Son stumbles on videotapes of mom having sex with dogs

The 54-year-old woman was arrested. The tapes, along with three dogs -- a Labrador, a blue heeler and a mixed breed -- were taken into custody. (The Oklahoman)

Foursome's golf game interrupted by a masked and armed robber

When the four golfers and two caddies reached the 16th tee, a gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, Give me your money." He robbed two of the golfers and one of the caddies before fleeing into the woods. The foursome finished their round of golf after the incident. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Gas-theft scam foiled when couple leaves personalized drill behind

A man and his girlfriend accused of drilling holes in gas tanks to steal gas slipped up when one of them left a drill behind that had the guy's name etched on it. He blamed his girlfriend on the thievery, but she says he was simply the lookout. (Ocala.com)

Here's a doctor who should have stayed away from strip clubs

Or, at the least, just left the joints without trying to get involved with the strippers. He says he spent $700,000 on a woman, and ended up getting dragged into court on an assault charge. (NorthJersey.com)

Woman has one regret after attacking child molester with a bat

She says she wishes she had done more damage. Tammy Lee Gibson, 40, attacked William Baldwin after hearing he had moved to a neighboring trailer park and recognizing him as the guy who talked to her 10-year-old daughter last summer. (Seattle Times)

Man jailed after trying to pay bond with dirty pennies

James Ward, 60, brought his $100 bond to the clerk of court after being accused of driving with a defective tire. The money consisted of a box of pennies covered with some sort of unknown substance and several crumpled dollar bills. Signs posted in the clerk’s office say they will not accept more than $3 in pennies for payment. (Quad City Times)

Motorists love truck driver's "KMA OPEC" license plate

"People are honking the horn, laughing, and throwing thumbs up...I love it," says Gary Cooper. (WTF, they allow KMA plates?!) (DailyPress.com)

Man jailed for drinking tea is finally released -- two months later

Jerome Klein drank a Bolivian tea just days before a random drunk test and was tossed back in jail because he failed the test. The tea, which his mom gave him, is made from a coca plant and contains cocaine. Miami Herald)

Man won't sell his 1963 Sting-Ray bike -- even for $100,000

Tom Mault, who owns a roofing company, says he'd rather donate the Sting-Ray -- one of the hottest American icons of the 1960s and '70s -- to the Smithsonian Institution in Washington. (DailyPress.com )

Police Chief Dicks cracks down on sagging pants in Flint, Mich.

"This immoral self expression goes beyond free speech," says Police Chief David R. Dicks. "It rises to the crime of indecent exposure/disorderly persons." (Flint Journal)